I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
