Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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