her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
