No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize