he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
