This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
