she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
