Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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