just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
