Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
