I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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