He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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