I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
