whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
