your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
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I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
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Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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