I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
