Pants 0. Shit 1.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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