Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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