there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize
