New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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