I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
