i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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