she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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