I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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