Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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