Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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