textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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