Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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