GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
