i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
im on a boat
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