i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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