Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize