My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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