I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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