I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
