Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
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I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
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this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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