Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
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