Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
