I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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