Me. At least after what I've been through.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
