I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
