We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
