Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I've blown a few things in my day
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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