You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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