Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
