Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so let's talk penis.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
