Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Randomize
