Sponge bath it is.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
