I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize