"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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