Don't you send me to vm
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize