I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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