Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
My feet surprised me
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
