This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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