You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
