Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
