i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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