She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
