i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
