"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
